Why people love it:

1. The catchy bass line. Music marketers know the formula and they know how to make us love a song.

2. Every girl feels insecure and “not dressed up enough” in a new place. This song plays on our insecurities. Music marketers know the formula and they know how to make us love a song.

3. Straight from Toby Keith’s playbook, Miley plays on our patriotic heart-strings by mentioning the U.S.A! God Bless America, y’all! Music marketers know the formula and they know how to make us love a song.

4. Easy dance moves. Even a monkey can put its hands up while nodding its head and hips like “yea.” Music marketers know the formula and they know how to make us love a monkey loving a song.

Why it sucks:

The song doesn’t rhyme. I did some analysis:

14% of the song implements slant rhyme.
27% of the song implements NO rhyme (they didn’t even try).
41% of the time she rhymes a word with the SAME WORD.
18% of the time she does the listener the courtesy of providing appropriate, legitimate rhyme.

*sigh*